What's RIGHT with Star Wars, Part 1

Let me say from the beginning that I am a Star Wars fan.

Let me also say from the start—no burying the lead here—that I really enjoyed The Rise of Skywalker. I went in not expecting much and was happy—nay, excited—to have my expectations blown away by a fun movie, an enjoyable movie, a stunning movie, maybe even a great movie.

I write this now after reading a review this morning by a “critic” that I would love to link to but I was reading the thing on my phone and then someone texted me and when I got through with that I had somehow lost the article and couldn’t get it back. This particular critic did not like Rise of Skywalker and the ostensible purpose of the article was to express that ROS was a let-down of all the promise of The Last Jedi. Ostensibly, I say, because the main thrust of the article was really that anyone who didn’t prefer TLJ to ROS (and all other movies) was some sort of Luddite who probably shouldn’t be allowed into the movie theater anymore or be issued a driver’s license.

I’m not sure, but I wonder if this were the same reviewer who two years ago wrote an article about how The Last Jedi was not the Star Wars movie we wanted but was probably the Star Wars movie we deserved. The theme to both of these reviews was that they (the reviewer, who may be singular) know better than we peasants what sort of movies are not only better, but should be enjoyed.

Let me state here, before we go further, that I regard The Last Jedi as the worst/least of the Star Wars movies—coming in behind even the Ewok movies, the Clone Wars movie (remember: that series started with a 90 minute movie that premiered in theaters), but ahead of the Star Wars Holiday Special but only because SWHS had Bea Arthur.

There are myriad articles and comments about what’s wrong with TLJ, some of which make points I disagree with. I don’t dislike the movie because of how it treated Luke. I do not object to the so-called Holdo Maneuver. In fact, that was probably my favorite moment from that film and it seemed, to me, in keeping with the first thing Han Solo ever told us about hyperspace: “Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?” In other words, hyperspace travel required calculations to take one around obstacles. It was why Han couldn’t just take off into hyperspace immediately.

What turned me off about TLJ (keeping in mind that I’ve never said I hate it, just that it was the worst Star Wars movie—just as there are many episodes of other shows that I don’t like, while still calling myself a huge fan of the show/series) was when Holdo took over. Yes, I had read the novel where she was introduced as one of Leia’s oldest friends. Yes, I know that another novel speaks of her being a hero of the rebellion and, presumably, the Resistance. But in TLJ Poe Dameron, who we have been shown as a hero of the Resistance, has never seen this woman before even though she has the rank of Admiral. I found it reasonable that he would rebel against her leadership. So Holdo, buoyed by nothing more than her own sense of self-importance, kicks this known hero to the curb and while we may be allowed to sympathize with Poe, it still seemed like we were supposed to think she was doing the right thing. Her Holdo Maneuver being withheld until she’s gotten the maximum number of those in her command killed makes me think otherwise. “But, chain of command!” someone objects, which I could go along with if she—like the rest of the people on that ship—were in uniform. She just looked like someone on her way to a ball.

You may be thinking that’s a pretty tiny reason to bump an entire movie to 14^th position in a field some say only has 11 entrants, but it’s not. Poe, a hero of the Resistance, was given a commander he had no reason to respect and told to respect her just as we were given a middlin’ movie and told by our movie-going betters to respect it even though we were pretty sure this particular emperor was underdressed.

Some of those who defend/champion TLJ want us to think its director “challenged” us by making us think about old things in new ways. Granted, he did make me think about Empire Strikes Back through all the things he borrowed from that great movie (like, oh, I don’t know, the plot?). But his changes didn’t come across to me as profound, just as a guy who looks at a story he wants to tell, based on an older story, and makes fairly random changes just for the sake of making changes. (For another record, I do not look down on or want to argue with people who really enjoyed TLJ. I just a] haven’t met any and 2] I just don’t want them or anyone looking down on me over my opinion about a movie where space wizards fight each other with glow rods.)

TLJ seemed like that old game we used to play in school where one person would write a paragraph, then the next person would have to pick up where that paragraph left off. When most of us got to be anyone other than the first writer, we would write outlandish paragraphs in an attempt to sabotage whoever had to follow us. At the end of the row would be some poor sap who had one paragraph to try to wrap up this literary monstrosity.

In steps JJ Abrams. He wrote the first paragraph, The Force Awakens, and while it was kind of a replay of A New Hope, it was fairly entertaining and fun (and, at the time, the 7^th-best movie out of the 7 numbered movies). Apparently a glutton for punishment, he agreed to come back and direct the ninth episode. Contrary to what you might have read, he didn’t ditch or negate TLJ, but he didn’t give it any more stature than was absolutely necessary. As someone who has probably read 80-90% of the Star Wars novels to date, in my mind I regard TLJ as one of the better novels that came out between the movies: it informs my view of the Star Wars Universe, but it’s not something I need to return to.

Personally, I think JJ did a great job! And I say this with a long history (depicted in other blogs and even my comic strip) of not being a fan of JJ Abrams’ work. (I hated what he did with Trek, got bored with Lost, was appalled by the one episode of Felicity I tried to watch [which, granted, is probably not a sufficient sample size]) and still rank TFA as 13^th out of the 14.

But The Rise of Skywalker was just what I wanted. And maybe that’s the real rub for this whole argument: Star Wars became (a long time ago, in a galaxy right, right here) the kind of movie/phenomena that leads all of us fans to take ownership of it. I know how Luke should act! I am sure the New Republic wouldn’t have done that! Abrams acknowledged this in a recent interview when—though some probably object that he was pandering—he stated that those who hate his new movie aren’t wrong and neither are those who love it. The reality is that we fans all have such strong feelings about these movies that any movie made (or book written) will not please everyone.

In broad themes, The Rise of Skywalker provided what I wanted: heroic battles, humor, humor sometimes oddly placed, pathos, death, triumph, new and old characters, call-backs that didn’t feel like rehashes, and a spectacular John Williams score.

[More to Come … ]

Remake "Star Wars"? Please, no.

Crowd-Sourced Remakes

There is a petition going around on the internet, supposedly enhanced by the idea that the signatories will pitch in their own money, attempting to get Disney to let them—the signatories—remake Star Wars – The Last Jedi.

Leaving aside the absurdity of Disney (or any studio) allowing that to happen for any amount of money, can you imagine just how bad that movie would be?!? Probably not. I’m not sure the human mind is capable of conceiving such a disaster.

It all stems from the fact that there are a lot of Star Wars fans who didn’t like The Last Jedi. Having many years to practice being unhinged, they have decided that they not only don’t like it, it was awful, terrible, horrible, and everyone associated with it except Mark Hamill should be taken out and shot—preferably in a non-vital organ so that their deaths will be slow and painful.

OK, I get not liking the movie. There are a lot of movies I haven’t liked. And, truthfully, The Last Jedi is my least favorite of the 10 Star Wars theatrically-released movies so far. But I have only ever walked out of one movie in my life (Star Trek 10—The Search for a Plot) and that was because the projector broke and they gave us all our money back.

Now, don’t get the idea that I am just a casual fan of Star Wars. I have movies I-VII (plus Rogue One) on DVD & Blu-Ray, I have read about 75% of the novels, have hundreds of the comic books, and am frequently seen in Star Wars T-shirts. I do well at Star Wars trivia, I’ve seen Rebels and most of Clone Wars, I have the Lego Millennium Falcon, I had a dog named Obi … and you get the point. It would not be a stretch to say I love Star Wars.

But I wasn’t crazy about The Last Jedi. I thought it had a lot of great moments, but—for me—they added up to an unsatisfying whole. So, while it’s been out on disk for a while now, I still haven’t bought a copy. Don’t know if I will (but it’s probable). Part of me is thinking maybe TLJ will be rescued by Episode IX*, but then I remember that IX is being directed by JJ Abrams, who is notorious for bringing projects to an unsatisfying conclusion (see Lost, or, well, everything else he’s made). So counting on Abrams to bring it all home is like that moment when your favorite team sends in that reliever who seems as likely to blow the 8 run lead as to hold it.

Having established my bona fides as a Star Wars fan, and expressed my own displeasure with TLJ, what I don’t understand are those people who hate TLJ. I mean, absolutely hate it. Some of them are so clearly unhinged as to declare that a movie (A MOVIE!!) has now ruined their childhood, but even some of the moderately hinged ones appear to be frothing at the mouth as they type out screeds against a film that is apparently the worst thing they have ever seen. (I would say that they are typing these words from their parents’ basement, but that may not be true. They may well be typing them from their law office, their comfortable summer bungalow, or even the RV behind their parents’ house where they sometimes attempt to bring chicks who they have met at the local comic book store.**)

Seriously, how do you let a movie ruin your life? Even if IX is worse than VIII, I will still happily—joyfully even—watch I-VI plus Rogue and Solo. I will even continue to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with my family because I have one edition that covers episodes IV-VI and another that covers I-VI (the only movies I will ever think of as true canon) and while I’ll watch the other four (and probably five, once IX is out), it’s not going to diminish my life in any way if they aren’t as enjoyable as the first six. Even if Rian Johnson’s planned trilogy*** doesn’t come up to snuff, and even if those miscreants responsible for Game of Porn make a Star Wars trilogy as abominable as their TV show, it won’t diminish the fact that I will still love I-VI.

Now, back to my opening statement: this remake the dreamers think they can persuade Disney to let them do, would just be awful because—trite though it may have become—too many cooks do spoil the broth. Would everyone who contributes to the cause be allowed a vote on whether Poe’s X-wing gets blown up or not, or whether Kylo and Rey get together? If not, why not? Will the person who started the crowd-fund be the director, or have a say in the hiring of one, or is there a committee in charge? Who selects them? And why would I think they would be any better at telling a story than Abrams, Johnson or that guy on the corner who thinks he’s directing a movie when he waves at traffic?

In short, as many faults as I personally found in TLJ, I am confident that this proposed remake would be infinitely worse.

* Some of you may not remember, but way back in 1980 there were people (a minority, but they existed) who claimed that Empire Strikes Back had ruined the saga because Han was frozen and the rebellion was losing and, surely, Darth Vader had just lied to Luke.

** This is, of course, said in jest as there are [almost] no chicks at comic book stores.

*** I’m not as down on this idea as some fans are. As I understand it, Johnson’s planned trilogy will be set somewhere else in the Star Wars universe, or, at least, not concern the Skywalker family. It could be that, given his own story to tell and not having to fit it into some committee’s paint-by-numbers plan, it will be better that TLJ because it will be solely his. Plus, I look at Rogue One and Solo and a clear takeaway for me is that the movies are better the less JJ Abrams has to do with them.